Thursday, October 05, 2006

shade and shadow

This one is between shade and shadow.

Shade of a friend; shadow of his expectations. Shelter of companionship; shadow of the accompanying responsibilities. Shade can never remain itself for long; sometime, during the ticktock march of the clocks, its solace turns into liability. The shroud that protected you from the chill now threatens to smother you. The blanket that shielded you from harsh glares paints your identity in its own blackness. Discomfiture sneaks into what was, once, a cocoon and your benefactor, now, can only make you uncomfortably silent.

Shade asks questions: Why did you do that? Did you think about anyone else (me) before doing that? How can you be so selfish?
Shelter turns peremptory with injunctions dissimulated as things softer like advice and suggestions: Don’t do this. I suggest (I insist) you decide against it. You’ve made the right decision . . . I’m glad for you!

What the protected – shaded and jaded – says: Don’t worry about me. It’s best you be honest with me. I’ll let you know when I’m hurt.

Inwardly, collapsing like a house of cards, what does a shielded voice murmur: Honesty comes with discretion and a little care for feelings. Is this so hard to fathom? And my freedom? Have I lost it?

Despair, and fear, and you hear the perfect sad pitch.

Bonds of love become barnacles; favours become the unmerciful edge of guillotines; all old accounts are dusted and tallied - How much is owed? How much has been left unclaimed?

The interplay of shade and shadow continues. Father mother brother sister uncle aunt husband wife boyfriend girlfriend friend - all function, in the world of umbra and penumbra, by the rules of shade and shadow.


Ruchika said...

And I think that each of us alternates between 'shade' and 'shadow' in our relationships... even sometimes with the same person..

satyajit said...

of course each one offers shade and then shadows in his own ways..each is guilty while being the victim

shantanu said...

Great post...after a long time...but the definition of the shadow is very subjective..also i would say all of us whether consciously or not yearn for a bit of the what you have describe as the shadow in some of our relationships..

satyajit said...

yes it's true..we all want our share of attention and being cared for, while being coaxed and nagged.


this is a good one...
but i think its the inevitability of the possibility of both being to gether that makes the pot pourrie called life..isnt it...
and between shade and shadow...its best they occur this way..cos that is the only universal tune that lasts