Thursday, April 13, 2006

whats her name again?

She is an unforgiving accountant- driven by scruples with what can only be a pathological penchant for the integrity of the figures in her book. Her methods are means to a single end that the final tally is a veritable reflection of her subjects. Truth of her numbers is truth of her character.

Each one of us is driven to griping against her and her ways. That she is a more regular companion to others and fleeting in her business with us. There never has been any direct communicaton with her. She only expresses herself through her dispensations. Not weekly or quarterly but every moment a judgment is passed. Some are convicted, some go free. There is never any lack of evidence though. There are no loopholes. You are laid bare of your pretensions and rhetoric. There is nowhere to hide.

We've been recipients of her dicta since the inception of time. It's time we understood her methods. If ever she flatters it's to deceive and her harshness has an unmistakable empathy. Being oblivious to this highlights our insensitvity and coldness.

Are our actions directed at wooing her? Do we do good in the hope that she'll smile upon us? Or since our past does not ensure our future is it any worse if we are steered by baser instincts? Clarity comes seeking when we realise there is no law of averages in right and wrong. Every deed is accounted for and questioned. Not just the result but the motive too.

The point is missed when we resort to imprudent comparisons. Can we decide on the penalty for hurting a child? How much worth is a life lost? Or a dream shattered? If there is a frame of reference for each one of us and each one is evaluated with respect to everyone else the result is a cacophony.

Slap on the face or pat on the back is but an illusion. If she has been harsh to you then that has not been compensated in the good fortune of somenone else. There is no limit to our happiness or good luck when we choose to get busy living the present moment. Without fear. With abandon. And then we are free. From Fate and her 'inequities'.

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